Joy and Grief

Well, its been another 4 years! whoops!

Maybe I will get around to uploading my other essays from my diploma of ministry.

So After my year of study I managed to get a job as a caretaker at a primary school, it was a good job but there was no way for me to progress in that job and after about a year I had learnt everything I could.

I am now in a job as a Gardner / Sexton. Yes, that's right, if you need to get rid of a body, I can be of service. I never pictured myself digging graves, but it's funny how life (or should I say God) works things out, how it all stumbles together to reveal something that you never thought you would be passionate about. Like learning botanical names for plants! Gee I used to despise those plant nerds that would use the botanical name, but now I'm one of them!

So I work at a cemetery, please excuse my excessive use of cemetery puns. I'm surrounded by graves, and it is a grave reminder (see I cant help myself) of the fragility of life. I know a few people buried at my Cemetery, let me tell you about one of them.

When I was a youth pastor, she came to my youth group, she was a normal teenage girl I suppose, trying to figure out life and survive the chaos of high school all while becoming an independent adult.
I'll never forget the moment when I received a phone call about her on Christmas eve 2013. It was one of my youth leaders telling me that this young girl had killed herself. I remember the feeling of my heart sinking, the lump in my throat and the bomb going off in my head as I attempted to process what I just heard and respond to my friend on the other side of the call. I was in the middle of a Christmas Eve dinner and as the Joy of one family was all around me, there was grief in my heart and most definitely grief in the family who had just lost their daughter. Her name was Anitta. I walk past her grave regularly.

In life, we have these unforgettable moments.Moments of joy.
Moments of grief and loss.
Moments of purpose.
Moments of hopelessness.

I'm not going to write blogs/journals as if I have some great revelation to share with the world, I will simply share my thoughts and my heart, and whatever small amounts of wisdom I've learnt in life.

Currently, my job is to maintain the Cemetery grounds and bury people. I am from time to time particularly touched or moved by funeral services that I have to attend as a Sexton. Funerals that remind me how much one life can touch so many other lives around it. It doesn't matter if this person was famous or whether they ever made it on the 6 o'clock news. They lived and they loved, and they are remembered for that.

I now have two sons in my life, I have moments of absolute joy in my boys as they light up when they see me, as they run to me to give me a hug because I'm home from work, moments of immense pride as they achieve something they could never do before and grow into little people whos lives will also touch countless lives around them.

And yet I have moments of frustration and impatience in my new journey of parenting. I have moments of anger when I have to work for a corporate company whos only concern is their profits and their shareholders, when you have to be part of a system which pushes people down to the bottom of the ladder and is designed to keep them there, unless you show 'potential' and are willing to buy in to their 'vision'

I cant help but feel that in life as we have these moments that feel like polar opposites, it is hard to deal with. And yet If we didn't have one we wouldn't appreciate the other. Without loss, we would not truly appreciate those that we still have. Without frustration, we would not understand Joy. And when faced with adversity and mean spirited people, we might not be able to identify the moments in life which are done truly out of selfless love.

We have these moments, of Joy and Grief. Both different experiences, yet both necessary and both worthwhile.

Disciple of Theology

Well I haven't been on here in 4 years!

So this year I am studying at Bible college which includes an internship at my church. I thought it might be good to share my essays on here. This is my first essay which I'm proud to say I got an A+ on.

So enjoy the read and let me know your thoughts on the topic/question.

"I think therefore I am." (Descartes, R. 1637) These were the words written by the 17th  Century Philosopher Rene Descartes. Is this what it means to be human? The simple fact that we have a higher consciousness than animals? The 18th century poet Alexander Pope also said that "to err is human; forgive, divine" (Pope, A. 1711.) almost insinuating that to be human is to have failures and errors, but also implying that we have a dual nature with which we can access the divine. But today lets probe deeper into what it means to be human and, if there is a God, does he have a purpose for mankind? We have all at some point in our lives asked 'Whats the point?' and  'Why am I here?' Or even 'What am I doing with my life?' When we find the answer to these questions we find a greater enthusiasm, passion and motivation in our lives.  

At its most animalistic level Descartes was right, we are human because we have the capacity to think, we have a consciousness which guides us morally and ethically, we have feelings and emotions that wrap around our world in a way that no other animal can experience. Perhaps the more pertinent question asks whether we are merely physical and emotional beings, or whether we are also spiritual beings? If it is the former, the daunting question of the origin of our consciousness will haunt us, but if it is the latter (and I will endeavour to pursue the latter) we must then also ask what are we here for? We are left then with two questions about our existence: 'Why are we here?' and 'What are we here to do?' The famous author Leo Tolstoy once asked 'why do I live?' and the answer he got was, 

"In infinite space, in infinite time, infinitely small particles change their forms in infinite complexity, and when you have understood the laws of those mutations of form you will understand why you live on earth... You are an accidentally united little lump of something... that little lump ferments...The lump will disintegrate and there will be an end of the fermenting and of all the questions." 

(Tolstoy, L. 1882)

This is the answer given to us by the scientific world, that there is no meaning. Yet when you ask someone what it means to be human, this is rarely their conclusion. People seldom answer with 'there is no meaning.'

So what does it mean to be human? Rick Warren said, "The easiest way to discover the purpose of an invention is to ask the creator of it." (Warren, R. 2002, P20) Every creation and invention has a purpose, often the best place to discover this purpose is in the users manual, likewise if we were created by God then we need to discover why he created us and we find that in the Bible. In Genesis 1 it says this about Gods creation of mankind. 

"Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it..."

(Genesis 1:26-28)

In previous verses we see God simply saying "let there be light" (v3) now however God says "let us make man in our image" giving a sign of intentionality and also of affection and care for the final creation. Man is indeed the only creation which has this direct relationship with God, made to represent God’s own image. So why were humans created? "We humans were created to live with God, in God’s good creation, in harmony with God’s good will." (Allpress, R., & Shamy, A. 2009. P23) If we are to take our lead from Genesis about what it means to be human then we see a relationship in place: God walking among men. We see the most perfect relationship, where man loves God out of free will and God is unhindered to show mankind his heart and his character

Though this may be the one thing that defines what it means to be human, we still have to ask 'What are we here for?' Later on in Genesis 2:15 it says "The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it." Some preachers or theologians may take this to mean that God's purpose for man is to work, and this is true, but I believe that this work only finds its purpose in the context of this all-encompassing relationship with God. If all we are to do is work, then we still have to ask about the purpose behind our work. If we are simply working to make a living, find success and support our family, only to arrive at death to lose everything, then this is nearly as meaningless as being an "accidental little lump." So what is the purpose of our work? Since humanity had free will to not follow God, that resulted in Adam and Eve doing so. Sin entered the world and disrupted the perfection and broke the relationship between God and man. Before Jesus stepped into history man worked to make himself righteous before God, now however Jesus has made us right before God. So one could rightly ask, 'Why work at all then?' The answer lies in the aforementioned free will given to us by God. Not everyone chooses to believe in God, but God does indeed have a plan for this world and for humankind, that plan is one of redemption. Jesus has done what was needed to restore that relationship, however it is obvious that we still do not live in a perfect world and people are still not in a relationship with God. This is God’s purpose for mankind: that we work to redeem the world back to its perfection and to restore people's relationship with God. God has given us an invitation into this life and to be a part of His plan. Dallas Willard wrote, "Yet, in the gloom a light glimmers and glows. We have received an invitation. We are invited to make a pilgrimage - into the heart and life of God." (Willard, D. 1998. P17) Our work today, whether it be in school, the workplace, in the ministry or on the streets, is to tell people of this invitation. It is then their decision as to whether they accept it.

The importance of this for a follower of Jesus is that this work should define us as it did the early church and Jesus' disciples. In Matthew 28:19 Jesus said, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." This was Jesus' imperative, that we go, that we disciple and that we shall ultimately see people receive salvation and be baptised. If we are to learn from Jesus about discipleship, we learn that the only prerequisite to be His disciple is to be a sinner. Furthermore we see in the gospels that His disciples did not believe He was the Son of God when they first chose to follow Him. When Jesus invited his disciples to follow Him he did not look at who they were or what they were doing wrong, Matthew was a tax collector, "the most despised person in society." (Stanley A. 'Follow') In John 13:35 Jesus informs us of the only thing that should show other people that we are his followers, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." Jesus employed this when he invited his disciples to follow him, he did not show any prejudice towards them. The relevance of this in our personal faith should also be directly represented in how we organise ourselves within church, it needs to be the very driving force of every church event we run and every system and structure we put into place. As we go about our lives we need to always be attentive to this, we need to allow this to shape how we see Jesus and how we see people (after all, the church will only be as healthy as its members). We need to represent Him well by loving one another and showing love to everyone and anyone who crosses our path regardless of who they are and what they have done. 

I wholeheartedly believe that our society is looking for genuine love from the Christians in the world. They are not looking for a church service, a program or even the best atmosphere to connect with Him. They are looking for love, they are looking for us to be true representatives of who Jesus is, after all it is commonly quoted that 'people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care.' I do not think that we can live a truly fulfilling life that gives us joy and peace until we know why we were created and what our purpose is. Whether we know it or not, we all have an opinion on the answer to these questions and it is the answer to these questions that influence’s every aspect of our lives, from how we behave to how we treat people. It is the driving force that steers our very being and is an utterly important question for any follower of Jesus to answer.

Bibligraphy

Descartes, R. (1637). Discourse on the Method.

Pope, A. (1711). An Essay on Criticism.

Tolstoy, L. (1882). A Confession.

Stanley A. 'Follow', Series of Podcasts.

Warren, R. (2002). P20, The purpose-driven life: what on earth am I here for?. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.

Genesis 1:26-28, All scriptures given from ESV translation unless otherwise stated

Allpress, R., & Shamy, A. (2009). P23, The insect and the buffalo: how the story of the Bible changes everything. Christchurch, N.Z.: Compass Foundation.

Willard, D. (1998). P17, The divine conspiracy: rediscovering our hidden life in God. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco.

Title

Still not bothering with smart titles so there!

Well its been two months, seems my posts are becoming less regular.

Life just seems to rush us all by, its almost half way through the year, crazy. simply. crazy.

Well, i'm out of job, and have been for a month, its hard. really hard. since i was 15 i've been working, and to not have work for over a month is really hard. I, being a typical proud male, like to think i can look after myself and during this period have really had to lean on God, and he has taught me some hard lessons on my pride through this. I love my God, I love that he loves me, that He provides for me. He Provided me with $500 through this period through a good friend but basically told my freind not to give it to me until I asked her, and that. Was the lesson of pride. I absolutely hate asking for help from. Anyone. And that needed to change.

I can't get this thought of love off my mind. how do we truly know if we are in love? I believe its a personal judgement we have to make, we have to go with our heart, and our gut. And going into this thing, I can't see how anyone can do this without God. God gives guidance, thats all I can say. We cannot do these things on our own. I don't know how I could explain that to you if you are not a believer. I simply see it as fact.

Yesterday and all of saturday night, I was very sick. I do not know what it was, it was definitely not food poisoning. I didn't sleep at all Saturday, throwing up all night. And Sunday was throwing up most of what I ate except a few bits of toast. My stomach hurt a lot. And now. Strangely. I'm absolutely fine.

I can't help feel that God is trying to tell me something. My thought is of two things. And I lean to the one that speaks of me looking after my body. We are told that 'our body is the temple of God' and admittedly I don't look after my body. In reality i'm lucky I have not gained lots of weight.

Well I left this draft and got back to it as i was busy, last night at youth I spoke. And. Something. Was different, I personally believe I was on a whole other level that I haven't been to before. It was so unusual. I just felt.. Calm. At Peace. I can't describe it accurately with words. But yes. Youth was very good last night, very happy :)

Well I may indeed have a job now. Selling Sky TV, and I really look foward to it. I think I will really enjoy it and be challenged by it.

And.

My Funding application is in to the council now for New Years.

I'm really in an amazing space today, so many things have been stressing me, job, funding application, getting my message right for youth and just general everyday stuff. But. Now I feel so at peace.

I think that's about all I can say.

There's no deep thought or philosophy on my original thought tonight. Just.

Peace.

Title

Couldn't think of a smart title this time, sorry.

this post is merely an update i guess.

Well the year started, i resolved to fast once a week and quickly forgot all about that once my busy routine of work, study and church got into full swing.

I was filled with. Joy. taking part in our new years event at church. what a blessing it was, what a great event it was. and now presently as we go forward in applying for council funding i seem busy with all this already having to have the application in by may 28th. in other words we need to have our budget done and dusted by that date.

Parachute was. Good. i feel for me that I'm a bit over the concert going art of my life. so in that sense i didn't enjoy it as much.

February came.
And went.

March began all the hecticness. not a word, but oh well.

Internship at church commenced, now on Friday's as it works better with youth.
Youth, that's right, I'm now leading the youth group with the youth coordinator so I'm involved in all the management level of things now, youth was a stress full kick off, dealing with a suicidal teenager before our first week had even started, along with the usual youth issues of boyfriends / girlfriends and all the complications this adds to the youth's friendships with each other.

Study has started now, and no more timely could it have been that we have covered biblical counselling. quite an intensive study, but so useful. now its all about the balance (when counselling non believers) displaying God's love and yet still giving good practical advice

Work, is well. its work.
Pretty much over it, too many little things getting me down about it, dishonesty, work etiquette, unreliability and so on. applied at 7 different places already.

on the verge of getting a new job is the hunt for a flat to stay at.

i feel that once i get a job, and place to stay, i will be moving into a new era in my life.

Spiritually. I've been.. quite still. I've concluded that i need to get out there and speak out more, i always talk about how important that is, i know all the scriptures but as James says "be doers of the word" so i need to take that word and apply it.

i also feel that the more i start to give God, the more that will allow him to give back into my life, with whatever he chooses to.

I must mention a moment i had recently.

I had this dawning of thought of simply abandoning all my involvement with the church, with anything christian. not for the motive of abandoning my faith but more so to sort it out. immediately i rebuked that thought, aware that the enemy was simply trying to get inside. i then realised, for so long i have been delaying things, evangelism, love and discipleship because I've been waiting till i get my own messed up life sorted. but it dawned upon me that I'll never be perfect, i expect far too much of myself and i need to walk in God's grace and love rather than placing expectations on myself that i cannot fulfill.

sigh...

over and out.

Knowing God

Where oh where to start?

Let it be known that my last post is just as true now as it was then, one or two things have been sorted yet I am still in the same pruning period of my life.

Ever since two months ago, when I prayed to God “:Lord I only want to serve you in this life, do what you will to make that possible” God has been continually and consistently answering that prayer through the process of stripping things away in my life. To give a bit of background as to where I am currently requires me to inform you that I will be continuing my study next year as it is a two year course and I was originally planning on taking a year break to begin to apply what I have already learnt, Due to circumstantial reasons I will doing that next year as well as continuing with my current job. I applied for a job but it was not in God’s will,

It has become evident to me that God is preparing me for what he wants to use me for, what that is I do not know and cannot say, if anything, I am sure of this, that my God knows what he is doing and in this process of preparation I am joyful and yet sorrowful. I too wander how that is possible but I can say that it is only possible with God. As someone told me tonight, it’s a matter of taking up our cross and, in essence, it comes back to the Cross. God wants to literally crucify things in out life that will hold us back from his purpose in our life. In doing that I rejoice that God would even care to involve himself in my life in such a real way, yet I mourn in the pain of these things that I have grown to depend on, the love, to cherish are slowly stripped away. In all of this I bow in reverence to a God that is able to do such things with abundant grace and unfailing love.

In amongst all of this I know that God is trying to disciple me through discipline. In a message spoken God spoke to me about the importance of praying, fasting and giving. The very three areas I would not like to be honest about right now, and yet unknowingly the very three areas that will excel me closer to God, so that I can begin to know who he is and begin to be intimate with him in my everyday life.

Its scary that the Devil has gotten to these three areas and managed to convince me that although they are important they’re not worth worrying about. And in true genius of the Devil himself he has managed to do both at the same time.

I was setting at the beach tonight, watching the waves. I began to weep at the thought of a God who has created our planet in all its fury, all its rage. A God who gives the sun its flames, who has set every star in it place and knows each by name. The same God who destroyed the walls of Jericho , the God who parted the Red Sea and guided the Israelites with his holy fire. This God is the same God who subdues the very waves that I was watching, the waves that look so graceful yet have the capacity to cause so much tragedy and grief as we saw earlier this year in Samoa. This God loves us and withholds his righteous judgement due to the everlasting grace we have received from the cross

I have begun the journey of knowing God, of being intimate with him. I give not a single care as to whether I have the right theology, the right opinion on some hot discussion of the church. I give no value to how much I know about God or my knowledge of the scriptures, but more than all of this.

I desire to know God.

Stretched

There are no words to start this thing off accurately.

Right now, I'm in a very good place yet a very broken place. I know your asking how that is possible so let me try give the run down of things that have been happening with me this month.

As much as I feel like naming names I know I will regret it later so I will respect that confidentiality.

God has been stretching me.

The one thing that comes to mind is the scripture
'the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord'

I look back on my last two years walking with God and know that he has been constantly giving and taking away and up until now I've been content with it. The number one thing God is doing in my life at this time is speaking to me about speaking to others. This morning I preached in church, I do not take any credit for it and in all honesty I don't think its as big of a deal as we make it out to be. Its a lot easier for us to preach in church, a safe environment, than to preach to complete strangers, a very unstable environment. On Saturday I went to a seminar on worship and it seems recently that God is wanting me to know the true meaning of worship. During the seminar we had a time where we all fell on our faces in worship, simply to be reverent to the Lord, to fear the Lord, to love the Lord and more than anything to let God break down our walls.

Words... cannot describe that moment for me.

God has been taking things away from me, things I did not think would matter, but through this he is giving me so much deeper revelation about what he wants for my life.
I have said the following so many times, but merely as I know its the right thing to say. But today, right now, I say this out of complete reverence for my God. I want to know his will, I want to do nothing but that will and I want to live for him. I cannot fathom this situation I am in, I know that suffering is a good thing and that only God can see the good out of this situation. I tell you now with complete assurance, had I known that this kind of suffering would come as a part of walking the walk of Christianity, I would never have signed up. And that. Is the great dilemma, people want good news, and there is good news, but it doesn't come without suffering, without sacrifice and that is the Gospel that we have to sell to this world.

My heart, is so heavy. My soul, in so much confusion and pain. My mind under so much attack. I dream and plea that one day I could have the faith anywhere near that of Job in the Bible. This to me seems like a big deal, and yet when I compare it, its nothing. It is but dust..

These tears I cry cannot express my situation. and my situation in sum up is this.

I thank God, I Adore him for having mercy on me, for even wanting to be a part of my life and challenging me, convicting me, bringing me into new places.

And yet my other half says to give up, asks how on earth I'm going to deal with this? it says that I cannot do this in my own strength. And. I plan not to.

I know that one day, I will look back on this and smile, knowing that where I am in that day was directly influenced by this season in my life. I know that I have had my good season in the faith, I have been reaping so much for so little. And now, more than ever I feel that there is more to come, more pain, more conviction, more challenge.

Its funny, God warned me. After getting a revelation through scripture and having some amazing alone time and worship with my Lord I felt so strongly that something big was coming, something that was going to shake me, and that very same night it all started.

God I trust in you.

And that.

Is all I can do.

GetSmart Get Revolutionised

I was going to write this when I got home (two days) but I figured it was best to post it asap so that i would have fresh memory of everything.

Where on earth do I start? my my what a massive few days it has been, getting up 5:30on the Monday (13-07-09) to catch my flight, getting to the car in christchurch only to spend half an hour defrosting it (didn't know blocks of ice could get a warrant.)
Spent the day at university with my friends (I even went to two lectures, one involving a dog, and the other batman!) and then the first night at Get Smart youth conference 2009. Now I hate to be the one that needs a conference for God to speak to me, and I say that we should all be in preayer and petition with him everyday anyway. However I also note the importance of God wanting to speak through people to a group of youth with expectant hearts, hearts of willingness to surrender to God's will. Now after 3 days and 4 nights of getsmart here is a basic sum up of the events.

I have seen... incredible worship and I put a pause in there because there is no way to describe the worship, it was as though God (allthough he was already there) came down and touched us with his heart, his glory and as if we were totally in awe of his splendour and might. so much so that the noise of everything simply became a way of expressing how worthy he is of every ounce of energy we can give him. Just as David danced with ALL his might, so should we.

Live's changed, now this comes into so many arenas, firstly I would have to mention the emotional change in peoples lives, the emotional healing of God coming into their situation and completely freeing them of all restrictions. not only that but the faith of these youth as they praised God despite everything that was going on in their lives, praised him despite the hurt and pain they were enduring. Not only this but physical healing also, to see (once again) people healed of physical pain that was holding them down, taunting them is a thing like no other. Not only that but since doing my studies this year I am starting to strongly believe that healings, prophecy, words of knowledge and every other gift from God is NOT for the person behind the pulpit and this conference affirmed that theological truth when the pastor healed two young girls and then asked them to heal others, and they did. Trough all of this healing there is northing less than great empowerment and inspiration coming through the holy spirit, changing peoples lives to tell them to not hold back but to speak the word in their heart, not to wait for the thunder and lightning but to use what is in their hand (given to them from God) to pour out onto others lives.

I feel so overwhelmed to talk about these events as really I would have to write a whole book just to tell of God's power and annointing on this conference. Anyway now to the more personal side. It would seem that even though I entered this conference thinking that 'I'm outta school and won't get as much out of this as I did last year' God would soon enough slap me in the face and tell me to wake up. As I mentioned he spoke this and slapped me through other people bringing his word. For the whole of this year and since I left school I have been saying "ok God I'm available now, what do you want to do with my life?" thats not to say I wasn't trying to make myself available beforehand.. but.. well you get my point. And since I have been doing this it means I have not 'actively' been pursuing what God has in store for me, rather; I have been putting what I call 'trust' in God to speak to me and to guide me on his path's. But just as Moses was aked "whats in your hand?" it seems God has not so subtly asked me that these last few days. So long I have been waiting for God to give me something to work with and forgetting that I already have been given so much by him to work with, and that's what is in my hand.

I now have a dream For this year to accomplish and plan to get straight to it when i get back into the motion of everything in Wellington. At the moment its between me and the big fella but I know its a dream from him for several reasons of which is also between me and him. More than anything right now I need to hear a vision statement from God for this dream so that I can align it with his vision, and i'm not going to sit and wait for it this time, i'm going to ask him about it (prayer) and i'm going to search for it (Word.)

It seems the other main thing God has been prompting me about is Evangelism, and that it doesn't need to be scary, or a big deal about getting the person saved. But its more about me playing my role in that persons walk with God. I have been studying evangelism for my study, and reading enough about it, and hearing enough sermons on it that is feels as if God is saying "you're equipped now get a move on"

I don't know where to begin with prayer, but I can say that God has nudged me AGAIN on it, and I feel rather pitiful that he has had to do it so many times before I took him seriously and took action on it.

Oh the joys of being Human

Finding Faith

Its helps to turn off the TV when posting so that one can focus :)

My goodness where to start..

Well while I've been doing my study every Wednesday night I have been thoroughly enjoying it, and finding at times that its too much to process to be doing every week.
Anyway, the previous topic we covered was called 'life of faith' which I thought would be great and... it was.

Faith is certainly not the easiest topic to write on so I ask for your graces when reading.

The Dictionary defines faith as "complete trust or confidence in someone or something"
The Bible defines faith as "the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things unseen"

so from that starting point lets build (blog)

whilst hearing the lectures about faith the issue came up about the dictionary's definition of 'complete trust or confidence' and I had to start asking myself "do I have COMPLETE trust and / or confidence in my God?" and its at that point that I realised that when I break down my life into everything I do, I have very little trust in God or confidence that he will provide for me when the time is right. it seems the very fact that I have an income shows that I do not trust in him. That is keeping in mind that very few will have the faith required or be called to voluntarily live in poverty. the fact that more than half my prayer life is dedicated to things I want shows that I don't trust God to supply these things when he wills it. I believe for all of us who walk with the Lord need to honestly assess our lives on a day to day basis of how much we trust God, and how much confidence we have in him. As a result of this I have had strong conviction about my reading habits, my prayer habits and in general my attitude towards many many things.

Now for the Bibles definition, and as you can imagine this will be fairly longer.
'The assurance of things hoped for', now assurance is something we gain when we are sure of something, when we are confident that 'x' situation will result in 'y' outcome type of thing. So how does this relate to God or our walk with him? In the ideal situation this means that we are assured of the things we hope for, whether that be going to heaven, God saving our close friend or simply a personal revelation from him, these are things that, rightly, we expect to some degree in our walk of faith. Therefore these are the things we are hoping for, so this means for us that faith is our assurance, that we have no doubt because we are sure of what is going to happen. so then comes the situation when we don't get what we hoped for, maybe we don't get that pay rise we have been praying about to help cope with increasing mortgage payments, or food prices. maybe the friend we prayed healing for dies of cancer. What then? this is where we need to understand that the dictionary's definition is actually very biblical in itself. in these situations (and as you would agree they are fairly common) we need to have complete confidence in Gods plan for us, and for those affected by such a situation. After all he is God, he knows all and created all. to have doubt is perfectly human and there are such times at which we need to yell at God, where we need to ask God "why?" where we need to express ourselves to him because those times are when we are laying things at his feet and in our hearts we are saying 'God I can't understand this, I can't believe this. Please help me understand, help my disbelief.' The bible talks of 'faith like a mustard seed' now if you understand how small a mustard you will understand the influence of this passage as its basically implying 'look here the minimum, and its very very low' so then we need to be able to work with that minimum we need to be able to grow on it, strengthen it. There’s no use praying for muscles (faith) if you're not going to work out the little muscles (faith) you already have. its only when we put stress on our muscles and USE them that they grow.

'Conviction of things unseen' when somebody receives a conviction, whether it be from God or from a police officer we know that they are guilty of something and that they know now firmly that that certain area needs to be addressed. So then to have a conviction of things unseen is like what we see in the minority report where people are convicted of crimes they are yet to commit. The argument is 'but I never did it' and the proposal is 'Yes but we know you intend to.' so then from this we can take that faith is guilt of things (sins) we are yet to do. the basis for this statement is that we know we are sinful by nature, we know with complete confidence that no matter how good we try to be we will always fall and slip up.

Faith really is not by any means a human attribute which is why it is commonly referred to as the 'currency of heaven' and which is probably why it is the most common area in which Christians struggle, myself and probably anyone reading included. it is the area of which Satan wants to attack the most as he knows that without we are nothing, and without it God cannot connect with us, and us with him.

So then the other thing we need to be asking ourselves is how healthy is our faith?
we need to look at our lives with honesty and integrity asking God to reveal to us any areas at all that we may be slipping.

The result of all this thought in my life the last few weeks has been difficult for me to undergo and yet humbling to a degree where I need to be integris in all that I do and my approach (or attitude) to the things that engulf my life.

Discerning Death

You must be getting sick of the acronyms?

It seems that for the past three weeks I have had some dealing with death, and on top of that issue life.

The first incident was on a Tuesday when I had to put down my dog who I grew up with. The Second was the same week where I had a dream that my best friend of many years had died and this is significant only because I accredit this dream to the holy spirit (will elaborate further soon.) The third was when I had found out that my soccer coach for 2008 had passed away. The fourth was hearing of the tragic death of a former Youth that went to our youth group who died in her sleep.

In 2007 I had to deal with my first loss of a loved one and I must say that I coped reasonably well, so its certainly not as if I have not had to deal with death before in my life. But this time felt different, it felt like a way to give my life direction, it felt like a kick in the butt by God. I mentioned that dream of a close mates funeral and as I woke that morning this daunting feeling hit me as if a voice in my head asking ‘now what are you going to do with your life?’ the normal voice would have said something like ‘what a tragedy, it will make you stronger’ but this felt more convicting than anything else. The feeling that accompanied that thought / voice was one of urgency as I remember vividly that rather than feeling grief for the loss of my friend in this funeral I felt regret. Regret that I would never see him again. Never.

I say this because of the beliefs I hold which are of a Christian influence and I need not say more for you to draw your own conclusions but all this thought of death really got me thinking about how I’m going to live my life and it brings to mind a very humble quote from the movie “The Shawshank Redemption” which said that we better ‘get busy living, or get busy dying.’ Too often in life our focus in on things, things that apparently please us and give us comfort, things that cost money, things that hypnotise us with their entertainment, with their accessorised glamour or that we try to attain a feeling, a feeling of true love, of true joy or true peace. It is not the least bit coincidental that at a funeral we go about explaining what the departed did with his or her life and after watching ‘the Bucket List’ for the second time I thought I would write my own bucket list and lo and behold the list was mostly full of things or feeling that we think will allow us to live life.

I have always said that the thing I fear the most would be to not live my life to the full, and immediately I imply that we have some sort of measure by which we live our lives, as if to say that the homeless man on the sidewalk has not lived as much as the rich man who travels the world, climbing mountains, skydiving and visiting pyramids yet we fail to see the circumstances that surround this as I have just pointed out with the obstacle of money. I would say that subconsciously we have accepted that our surplus of money discerns how much we ‘live life’

It seems that no matter how hard we try to ‘live life’ we are always stopped by circumstances, by things that intrude and enforce their way into our lives. It’s the love of money, the love of things that we are all entrapped by, even though it is temporal, even though these items of desire serve no purpose once we are gone from this world we still have a desire to seek them. I propose that within this desire we seek meaning, we have a hope that our life will not be in vain if we enjoy it whilst we still can. We seek to have a purpose to our life, to influence others and leave a legacy behind so that our own personal ethics and good deeds will live on past our own selfish desire for things.

It is too true that life is fragile, those of you who have ever been to a funeral or witnessed a horrific car crash will understand when I say that we are but a sheet of glass that will always be broken and as we try to repair ourselves we look for meaning to all this suffering, we look for a reason why life is so painful, why its so hard and we ask ‘why me?’

My brother once shared a poem with me that has had a lot of influence on my life and how I wish to live it out, it’s a short but sweet poem. One that captures the answer to all of those questions, one that offers us a fleeting glimpse of what our life is for and what is to come in our next life.

“Only one life
T’will soon be past
Only what’s done for Christ
Will Last”

I need not say much more than to simply give you this poem and pray that it will impact your life as it has influenced mine, but I must ask you two more questions.
They are questions that the Egyptians believe they would be asked by the Gods as they reached the gates of heaven, and the answer would impact whether they were admitted or not, I believe that these questions as just as Christian as they are Egyptian.
Have you found Joy in your life? And if so have you bought Joy to others?

Convincing Convictions

Well recently I’ve been delaying a post quite simply because I have had a lot going on.

Well as per my beautiful alliterate title (not too rare is it?) you will probably figure that God has been convicting me of a few things since I last posted, I think tonight I will cut down the ‘jibber jabber’ and get right to the meat of the issue.

My Study : This so far has been truly great, we have just finished the first segment of discipleship and the most important thing I have learned is that discipleship starts with evangelism, to me this is great. Now I always knew where the bible stood on evangelism but I have never really taken it seriously enough to take into action. This has opened my eyes to the fact of the matter that this is our very obligation and it should be all we live for. Many of us (myself included) think bad things when fronted with that word, we think; Standing on street corners yelling ‘repent repent’ we think of the disgruntled resident who yells ‘stop shoving your religion down my throat’ followed by a nice loud slamming door, we think of the great burden it brings upon us and how sometimes its not worth the struggle. Fact is that most of this is in our head and besides if we are not prepared to suffer for Christ we need to take a serious check on our faith.

World Vision : From previous posts (I think) you will know that I was immensely involved in the 40 hour Famine last year at my school, Well I have just come back from this years Student Leadership Camp (SLC) and have probably taken back more from it than I did last year, the main reason being that last year when I attended as a student rather than a leader I was not expecting at all to be the one organising it last year. So I did not listen as much as should have or could have. For me this has just reminded me once again just how much need there is out there, to hear all the stories, to see all the pictures and to know many more statistics has certified in me that this is one of my callings. I once again feel obliged to do something, not just sponsor a child (as I already am) but to do something big, to travel and work in these countries and to maximise my change in these places of poverty.

Now here stands my two most convincing convictions at the present time.
Firstly I have the choice to further my evangelism and help in saving people to Christ for an eternity. But on the other hand is it right to pursue this and disregard the pure evil that goes on all around the world, with billions of people in poverty, millions with AIDS, millions with no food, shelter, clean water and in some cases no parents. Can I really disregard the fact that 13-15 y/o girls are being enslaved in brothels to make money for some rich business man. Am I really entitled to push aside the fact that every 15 seconds a child, like you and me, will die of starvation or of AIDS or of disease that takes as much as it costs to buy a coffee to help. Can I ignore the strongest feeling of heartbreak I have ever felt when I saw that photo of the child with such a look in her eyes that literally said ‘I have no hope’?

I strongly feel that this will be a massive defining moment in my life as to what I will do for the years to come, I can only pray with confidence and trust that the Lord will guide me along the path he so desires to see me walk. I would just like to emphasise that for me this is BIG, to me this is almost unfair to choose between the two but I know that the Lord provides seasons and times for everything, there will be a time to celebrate, to mourn, to grieve, to evangelise and to spread hope.
But now is the time for prayerful thinking and consideration.

Screaming Silence

It would seem that recently God has indeed been speaking to me about my time management habits and more than that the noise I make in this time. Its seems evident to me that I would rather turn up the music (whether it be Christian artist or not) than lie on my bed in absolute silence and prayer waiting on the whisper of God’s voice. Even as I type now I have the music playing.

So what is it about us that makes us so uneasy when we are silent, we all have had that time with someone where something was said and then it was followed by a long awkward silence but I have to ask, is it awkward because of the silence or silent because of the awkward statement made? It could well be both.

Its very hard to obtain true silence today, try it right now, turn of all music and close all doors, you will hear the buzzing of your computer or the sound of a sander outside, or the sound of cicadas. It seems that as hard as we try it is very hard to obtain true silence in today’s world but my other objection is if we were to obtain it what would we do with it? Would we start talking to fill it? Or start thinking weird thought’s?
Silence truly is a valuable thing and in 1 Kings 19:11ff we read

“The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

Here we see that God was not in the things that would make the most sound, but in this instance of Elijahs personal connection with God, God is in the ‘gentle whisper’ I may be taking this out of context and please notify me if you think I am but I belive that this means that for us and our personal times with God we need to learn how to “Be still” and know that he is God. (Psalm 46:10) after a while we begin to notice how everything is so loud but we seem to prefer this noise over the pure silence. I do not think many of us are able to sustain such silence very easily and if we do it would seem that our impatience gets to us before we get to the silence

So often we all get caught up in the rush of life and in the noise of worship and praise and rarely do we make the effort to have quiet times, to simply take a break from life, to separate ourselves from our present sufferings and sins and to clear our head from all devious thoughts. I truly take my head off to those that meditate properly because it is the art of clearing ones head from all thoughts. I challenge you right now to try lean back in your chair and do absolutely nothing for 30 seconds, no movements, no thoughts.

Its hard isn’t it? And that is why I commend those that meditate not because of what it represents but because they are able to obtain a silence that so few of us get to experience, a silence that is soothing to the soul, a silence that in itself seems to speak volumes to us.

May God give you this soothing silence, may you be able to hear his whispering voice in the outrageous noise of everyday and may we all teach our ears to hear the things that truly matter, that is.

God’s voice.

Purposeful Prayers

Prayer. its always been a difficult are for me, not only because I have to make an effort to actually do it but also because of the (what would seem to us) pointlessness of it. I often think, why bother God knows all our thoughts and choses our words before we even speak them.

but recently I have been getting too many answered prayers to ignore this matter any longer. its not that I don't understand the importance of it or the theology behind it its more to do with the fallibility of my own thought train and my infinite stupidity with comparism to his all-knowing intelligence.

some prayers that have been answered recently for me.
a friend of whom I was praying for, specifically praying that God would make her more interested in my faith so I would have an opportunity to share with her. text me asking 'what made you believe in god'
a person (extreme atheist) that I used to debate with online and prayed a few times that my words would plant seeds into his heart to see him living for Jesus. recently declared his faith for god
the car issues I seem to never escape from I prayed that god would deal with them, rather than me myself trying to fix the problems myself. a Christian brother text me about getting rid of the car for me and only because he saw my parachute bumper sticker and knew I was a fellow brother.

I have had a constant struggle with the idea of leaving god in control of my life, it is only human to want some degree of control in our life because otherwise we feel unsafe, its that degree of uncertainty that scares us. its the thought of what will go wrong that intimidates us, and yet when we think that we are saying to god that we don't trust him to look after us. we are saying that we know better than him and yet it seems every time we take these things into our hands things go wrong, whether it be the small mundane things that irritate us, or the big problems that leave us emotionally burned up again.

I want to share with you a blog thought of the friend online (and now fellow brother)

“Penetrating Perplexity For The Unrequited Dream

Our inner desires inoculated in an elaborate scheme
For the time being it's merely initial sanity evolving into a dream
I've found myself going off the deep end, building everything on a rigid frame
With no self-assurance, I am completely drained

Is it wise to sit around lost?
Is it foolish to redefine cost?

I've stared fearfully for far too long
I have been so weary for so long
and now it is time to penetrate that hazy fog
that fog that has kept me in check for so long”

it would seem that at this point this ex-atheist is drained by the arguments and probably inquiring as to why we are so persistent. It appears at this point that he is unsure of his previous beliefs and wants to ‘penetrate the hazy fog’ the hazy fog that is Christianity in all its complexities.

And now the second blog of his.

“A Seemingly Infinite Road To Bliss

Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around in his wheel. Not acknowledging the reality of everything, I'm trapped in this infinite facade of yet another false sense of security on this endless carousel. The characterless vessel of that insensitive, unimaginably uncaring, malevolent, sinister succubus has me paralyzed from the familiar fear of an inevitable, unbearable fall. Her nonsensicalness was obvious, palpable even, but my adolescent, wishful ways have me doomed to attempt to penetrate the obvious reality which imprisons us all.

I don't usually hit the ground running, but then again, it is seldom that I am exuberant with my movements. In random fits of rage I express great vigor, but in dangerous ways. I may sporadically find myself unconsciously putting on a smile as a facade covering up a long history, as well as a recent one, of dreaded memories that I look dispiritedly back upon, but the sad truth still remains. This equation is lacking a certain variable. The substance requires a solvent, or else it is worthless, meaningless. I've admitted defeat to an imaginary antagonizer, asking, begging for a place back home. "Home", being an establishment of a comfortable setting, but anything other than a place of origin. The past is incorrigible, and the future is that of total chaos unless something is done "now". "Now" is a gift, that is why it is called "the present". If I cannot break the barrier of my own disease then I will do anything I can to offer whatever I can to society. If I can't help myself, then that is just the way the cookie crumbles.”

I feel unworthy of ‘analysing’ this as it is his testimony and deserves to be unchanged and not tampered with. All I can say is that it is evident that he has now come to a certain realisation and has humbled himself to be willing to serve others (his last line)

I praise God for his testimony and pray that God continues to work in his life in conforming him to Christ

Already he is facing persecution from his ‘friends’ and I feel in my heart that he will be a great man of God.

Back to the prayer thing… it seems evident that out of the genuine motives God will answer your prayers, whether it takes him 40 years (the case of Abraham) or a mere week (my case this last week)

I believe we need to check our faith if we place any doubt in God, he is the God that created the heavens and the earth, placed every star in its place and calls it by name, knows us inside out and every hair on our head, moulded the mountains so his waters could flow into the depths of his shaped oceans which evaporate and freeze into millions of snowflakes that he designs and then fall again into our civilisation that we have very much tainted.

That goes for me just as much as it does for any reading. We need to place God in total control of our life and let go of our pride, our selfish ambitions, our sense of security that we falsely attain from being in control and I say falsely because we are never secure in our own strength. We never shall be.

What is your Parachute?

Well its been a fair period since I wrote, but I think due to my title you understand where I may go with today’s post. \\

Let me start with this, I recently went to a music festival called Parachute which is held every year at Mystery Creek in Hamilton New Zealand and I simple loved it, just like last year it was a great kick start for the new year and I left refreshed and motivated to get closer to God, not long after however I needed a new car, in the purchase of a car I was familiar with for a very decent price I felt great. However it is evident now that I began to lose my focus on God. Just last night I managed to crash this car, the same way as last time by taking my eyes off the road for 2 maybe even 1 second and then not braking whilst doing so. You do the math.

I’ll be frank and honest, it was a massive shock to my system and I felt like a complete failure, after the financial hole the last incident burnt in me I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again but in all of this I am trying to keep in mind Romans 8;28 in knowing that I love God and therefore all things that happen to me or around me work for good. It was hard and to be blunt I was doubting God that he would work this for good and in actuality its only been one day I do not know how he is going to work this whole situation for my good but I know this. God wants me to simplify my life, my life that is cluttered with so much media, so much materialisation, so much technology, so much money, so much anger all around me. Just so much added things that do nothing but kill time and this I believe is the initial reason for my second crash. I’m not going to lie I'm still very gutted and feel like a failure but I’m doing my utmost to leave it at God’s feet and ‘take on the yolk of Jesus, for his burden is light’ (can someone remind me what scripture that is? Its been in my head but no idea where to look for it in the NT)

During Parachute I began to get a glimpse of why it was named so, all the bands there, all the staff and crew that make this event happen all have one parachute that is their saving grace, that is Jesus. And as I offload on my notes on my Ipod I begin to think about what our parachutes are in life? I saw a sunrise for the first time in a long time while at parachute and it was stunning and after worship on Sunday night I could not help but think of the song ‘this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine’ because I came to a firmer realisation of my light that I carry. As well as the depth of darkness that some people live in and I began to think of how I need to let my own light shine into their darkness so that they can share my parachute that is Jesus and land safely.

I know what its like to not land safely, the crash and fall in life and emotionally it hurts probably as much as literally falling of a roof (not to mention that happened to me yesterday also, came far too close to breaking my neck) I can relate to people when they talk of how life is crap, how no matter how hard they try they always seem to end up sad and alone at the end of the day. I can understand the pain people feel when they feel like every relationship they get into they have their heart broken. I know the emptiness that comes along with drug abuse (including alcohol) the sad sad need for a temporary fix only to see your whole life falling, with no Parachute. I have had the parachute of alcohol, I have had the parachute of following the crowd, I have had the parachute of depression in hope of people loving me, I have had the parachute of relationships. They all had holes and didn’t break my fall at the end of the day.

My question to you today is what is your Parachute in life? I seem to be ending these things a lot recently with challenges and questions to the reader but hey change is good. So take this seriously, observe your own life personally and ask yourself, what parachutes have I tried? Which have failed? Which have worked? I can tell you with complete confidence the only reason I’m not dwelling in self pity and depression the very day after my second crash is because I have the parachute of Jesus.

I pray that God will continue to simplify my life and that he may give you the same parachute I now carry.


Grace and Peace be with you.

Thoughts

Hmm I must get out of the mindset of setting high standards for what I post up here.
I seem to lose way too many (precious) thoughts from those high standards, so here is one of those 'thoughts' I have had today.

Romans 8:28 says
'And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them that are called according to his purpose' (KJV)

As I was upset this morning I went to have a bath as very often it is very good thinking space for me. This scripture popped into my head as I struggled with one small issue of life.

My thought's on this scripture is as follows; the first dilemma we face is once again our limited human understanding, it's extremely hard for me to fathom that ALL things work TOGETHER for good, if I love God and my friend commits suicide what do I gain from that? that’s a more easily answered one but what about the family who lost a husband in the 9/11 attacks, if they genuinely love God how what do they gain from that? Not only that but this scripture states that they work TOGETHER for good, the implication I get from this is that my misfortune and the misfortune of another individual that loves God both work together for both our benefit. Moreover we must consider the extremity of the word 'all' this means that EVERYTHING I do works for the good of God, whether it be feeding the dog or sharing a friends burden, they both work equally for the good of God. in fact looking at the verse again, I see that it says 'things' now what on earth does it means by things? as in the clothes on my body, or the works of my hand? or the thoughts of my mind? or the direction of my heart? or what? that just an added factor to looking at this verse.

I must stop to acknowledge that I’m not exactly doing an accurate exegesis here, but in all honesty verses 27-29 I could probably write an essay on and still not get the right view of it however if you want to look at it in context feel free to read those three verses.

now as for the latter part of the verse 'to them that are called according to God's purpose' now I think for me the major standing issue of this is do we actually know God's purpose? we get glimpse of his purpose in his word but that is only his purpose for me, you, for planet earth. our finitely small understanding of our God and of our universe leaves me aghas every time and I must take into factor about what will be gods purpose after the second coming? was his purpose the same before creation? was it the same during king David? king Solomon? Jesus' death and resurrection?

I was recently listening to a sermon by Brian Houston who noted that we are given so many talents and abilities from God but it is only when we focus in on one that we do it well, and that what is in your hand (eg your passions and talents) will be your callings from God. so my simple question is how do we discern what gift is right for a certain time? prayer is one answer but I do not think God ever wanted us to be puppets who call on their master for everything, there is to a certain extent our own decision our own free will that we must deal with and carefully go about.

so in a quick sum up

Romans 8:28 says
'And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them that are called according to his purpose'

I think the first question we need to ask ourselves is do we love God?
then we can go on to ask, what are the things in your life that will work for the good of God? What are your callings? and what is God's purpose?

for me the answers are as follows.

Yes, all things, poverty, youth, discipling and I can only guess that Gods purpose is to love the ones I will reach and conform myself and others to Christ.

The Alcoholic Pandemic

This will be more like an essay on the consumption and culture of the alcoholic society we seem to live in. that is a generalisation I acknowledge the minority of us who either don't drink or know how to have a 'social drink' recent news reports show New Zealand's leading alcohol experts calling it a pandemic hence the title for this post.


I always tend to find myself puzzled as to where to begin with any essay I tend to write, so how about that for an ice breaker. I hope that this piece of writing will open the eyes of those “drinkers” who refuse to call themselves “alcoholics” and my desire is for it to address not only the culture of drinking in New Zealand but also the results of such drinking whilst offering Personal and Professional opinions on the matter itself.

I Personally have been ‘sober’ for over a year and can remember the vivid night that literally scared me into temperance. The night started off as any other would, casual drinking by the bonfire with friends, amongst story swapping of the last time we were drinking. The night went on and we all began to feel a little happier as you do after consuming “a few cold ones” a few hours too fast. To cut a potentially very long story short my last memory from that night is running down the road after smashing a friends bottle of beer yelling “why are you drinking that (insert expletive here)” the next moment I was waking up. My friends however tell me that I was awake and running around for a good 40 minutes after that instance and that was one of the scariest realisations of my short lifetime. The thought that my body could literally be possessed by alcohol even though I myself recall no conscious moments during that time. I do look back on that and say to people that I was possessed, This story would be all too familiar for too many people tonight who even on a Sunday feel the urge to drink.

For myself personally my view now is that It is purely a waste of time and money if you are going to use your alcohol as I did that night, now for some professional opinion on the matter. Dr Doug Sellman, director of New Zealand’s National Addiction Centre and professor of psychiatry and addiction medicine at the university of Otago says “Alcohol stimulates opioid receptors in the brain to produce an opioid effect along the lines of ‘being a wonderful person living in a wonderful world’, not too dissimilar to taking heroin or morphine.” I think it is fair to say that any educated person would acknowledge the fact that alcohol is a drug and as we can see here it has the obvious effects of a drug in having some symptoms similar to the drug Heroin. The obvious inclination and objection from “those who refuse to call themselves alcoholics” is that this drug is not as bad as the others. This may not be the case though, I did fail to find a comparism of drug related deaths to alcohol related deaths that is ignoring the obvious mistake of not classing alcohol as a drug however the police website has informed me that “The misuse of alcohol imposes huge costs on New Zealand, conservatively estimated in the billions of dollars each year” said Assistant Commissioner Howard Broad. Lets not overlook the use of the word conservatively in that segment, Billions meaning more than one or two billion it may be fair to say that the reason for not disclosing the actual amount is because of their own personal disgust, that or they simply can’t accurately state it. Now that is in comaparism to the misuse of drugs, which I would say in all cases would be a misuse. The police website informs me that “Illicit drug use in 2006 caused an estimated $1.3 billion worth of social costs.” Now to clarify any discrepancies, the quote from Howard Broad stated each year, and this states in 2006, so lets go on the assumption of using 2006 as our common denominator. It is clearly evident that the cost to our nation for alcohol is more than that of all other drugs in use. The news report of 11th Jan 09 stated that there are now more than 1000 alcohol related deaths every year, whether this be a drunk driver (a) killing an innocent motorist (b) both ‘a’ and ‘b’ fall under the category of ‘alcohol related.’ Recent studies show that of the 25,000 offenders omitted for drink driving in New Zealand a mere 5% of those were remanded for alcoholic counselling and in light of Australia’s, Britains and Canada’s sentencing of 12 months disqualification New Zealand law only dishes out a 6 month disqualification from driving. some say this is a result of the accessibility of alcohol and the 18 year old restriction.

I suppose that paragraph was indeed long enough to sustain itself, the next issue to approach is the effect to our health that alcohol has on us. We must first look at what alcohol is made of and what general effects it has on us, many of us are aware of the taste of alcohol itself but I think less of us are aware that “alcohol contains a lot of calories. In fact, Alcohol is closer to fat than carbohydrate, in terms of calories per gram” so for those wanting to maintain that “summer slim body” I recommend a fruit smoothie rather than a cold beer next time. Dr Sellman is also aware of the common fact that the symptoms that one may feel in the midst of his or her hangover such as shakiness, dysphoria, sweating or a headache are symptoms mirroring that of a alcoholic in withdrawal. So if you’re looking for a 100% effective way of avoiding the ‘headache in the morning’ try avoiding alcohol. It works every time. For those of you thinking of the age old “glass of red wine a day” road to good health I am privileged to be the messenger in that you are being sold a false message. In a 2005 report on the ‘Burden of Alcohol’ Professor Rod Jackson and Dr Jennie Connor reported that “alcohol contributed to 1037 deaths but prevented 981 deaths in 2000, leading to a net loss of about 56 lives” not too bad in light of my earlier comment on 1000 deaths a year, but conveniently Connor and Jackson have converted that to years of life so “17,200 years of life were lost as a result of alcohol related deaths and only 5300 years were saved, leading to a net loss of 12,000 years of life due to alcohol in one year.” I believe the common objection on peoples minds right now would be “yeah but surely lots of that is due to injuries and drink driving right?” well yes you are right, but despite that “a staggering 24% were from cancer” and now you’re thinking “alcohol… cancer?.... do explain.” Heres how Jennifer Bowden explains it; “The ethanol in alcoholic drinks is a human carcinogenic, according to the International Agency for Cancer Research, so irrespective of the type of alcohol consumed, there is an increased risk of several different cancers. The risk of breast cancer, colorectal (in men), oesophageal, mouth, pharynx and larynx cancer all increase with alcohol consumption.” Wellington hospital physician Geoffrey Robinson says “some women have developed cirrhosis after a relatively moderate intake of three to four glasses of alcohol a day” so it is evident that there are quintessentially no positive health effects of drinking alcohol. To be blunt about it Jackson who is a university of Auckland cardiovascular disease expert says “there probably isn’t a level of alcohol consumption where you get health benefits without harm. Its pretty unlikely that people who have up to a couple of drinks a day are going to get any substantial harm, but its very unlikely they’re getting any benefits” so next time you pick up that glass of red wine make the toast to good health rather than thinking that same glass is good for your health.
A few years ago a world renowned physician said this of alcohol “If alcohol were invented today it would be available only on prescription, and then only from hospital pharmacies” he added that alcohol remained the safest and most readily available and cheapest tranquilliser known to mankind. Garth George states that “therein lies the enigma of alcohol: on the one hand the cup that cheers and relaxes the almost indispensable to social intercourse (and often sexual intercourse too), and on the other a mind-altering chemical, a brain poison and a highly addictive drug” the truth of that statement is pretty self explanatory but now may be an appropriate time to add the issue of sexual intercourse whilst drunk, lets be honest, we would rather not think of it. Gone are the days of our forefathers were sex was a pure act only to be had with your life partners, the term one night stand amongst our youth of today (not discluding myself) is purely known as, going to a club and after a few drinks finding a complete stranger and taking him of her home to “indulge with” and dispensing the relationship the next morning. Being a Christian myself my main dilemma with this is the oblivious and complete disregard for any moral standards whatsoever. George also states that “excessive drinking, particularly among young people, has always been with us, but as outlets have proliferated and the legal drinking age has been progressively lowered, the problem has become exponentially greater.” In 1999 the National Government lowered the drinking age to 18 George wrote that he “hoped those who promoted it would be prepared to meet the social and economic costs that would surely follow.” – “yet no government has been prepared to follow the lead of other governments around the world which have faced the same dilemma and made sensible moves, such as returning the legal age to 21 and, in France, closing tens of thousands of outlets.” George also touches on the advertising of alcohol saying that “there is supposed to be some self-regulation about the advertising of booze, but it surely is a sham. Some of that advertising is utterly reprehensible, inhumanly aimed as it is at young men who want to be seen as macho ad at young women who want to be seen as sexy.” And on that note I would like to mention some recent findings of experts from around the world. Binge drinking for men can reduce testosterone levels which can lead to man breasts, so next time a mate says ‘man up and finish that beer’ think about the size of his chest, or yours. As for the proliferated advertising targeting women I think we have just about covered the issue of weight gain due to high calorific quantities in alcohol, in fact women overseas research has shown that “women are more likely to become alcoholics than men” and this is due to you having less dehydrogenase – the enzyme in the lining of the stomach which helps break down the ethanol – and less body water then men. Which is parallel to the common thought that women are easily intoxicated due to their smaller body and muscle size.

George wants a call for a realignment in the advertising of alcohol asking the nauseating question “why are the products of the booze barons not required to carry warning labels on the bottles as cigarette packets have been required to do for years? Such as: Alcohol can kill. Alcohol can cause you to stop breathing. Alcohol can stop your heart. Alcohol can rot your brain. Alcohol can destroy your liver. Alcohol during pregnancy can damage your baby. Alcohol can make you vulnerable to predators. Alcohol causes road accidents. Alcohol can drive you to suicide.” Personally I cannot agree more, Alcohol is just another drug that has indeed been taken by those that would like a cheap “hit” or “high”. But the news is not all bad, Simon Collins reports that “the National Government will look again at raising the legal drinking age from 18 to 20 this year. New Justice Minister Simon Power, who voted to keep the age at 18 when it last came up in 2006, said it would be considered again in the local context of a bill to give local councils more control of liquor outlets. The Sale and Supply of Liquor and Liquor Enforcement Bill was introduced by the former Labour Government last August and has been picked up without change by the new government. It is due to have its first reading when Parliament resumes and will then go to a select committee for public submissions.” So the dawn of 2009 is looking promising for those of us who have ‘been there done that’ and realise that alcohol has no circumstantial benefits. On the note of warning labels on bottles I read an article also by Simon Collins about a young women who said “I drank right through my pregnancy, I didn’t know. There had been no warnings whatsoever” the long story short is that her child has been diagnosed with ADHD and has short attention span amongst a paediatrician at Waikato Hospital who confirmed that the child “had mild physical markers of the fetal alcoholic syndrome based on the gap between the eyes.”
She is happy to be an object lesson for other women but says that “the government has a lot to answer for because they don’t have labels on bottles.” All alcoholic drinks in the United States have carried warnings since 1989. “the Alcoholic Advisory Council wants similar warning labels here but they need to be agreed on by Food Standards Australia NZ”

I can only pray that you come to see the outweighing of the negatives to the positives in this case, but more than that we as a people need to act our opinion and take into action the phrase “people should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people” so my simple challenge to you today is how much do you drink? And is it worth it? So I hope that we can object to the absurdity of labelling and advertising standards to our new government, I mean they will listen right? You better hope so you voted them in.


Sources: The listener, Article "Hard To Swallow", Jennifer Bowden
Article "Time for more sober approach to alcohol", Garth George
Articles "Drinking age back on MP's agenda" and "Higher death
amongst girls linked to liberal liquor laws", Simon Collins

09 Oh No!

Well happy new year to you all.

that phrase in itself has a funny mentality doesn't it? the common implication is "well this year was crap lets hope next year is better" then once that "next year" is over we say the same thing. I don't particularly make new years resolutions because I believe that we are all changing so much every day and that we need to make resolutions as often as we find something to resolve.

However as Christmas came round and I bought small gifts of appreciation for some, and many cards for many. As I came to write something nice and loving in the cards I realised that out of the many people I loved I still held grudges against some of them and in all honesty it scared me because I am a loving person and do all I can to show that love to others. So when I can't find words to uplift someone its a scary thought. So my simple (if only it was) resolution is to work on my forgiveness, of myself and of others, and in terms of not hurting others so as to cut down on others forgiving me.

As I watch the news tonight I firstly think "ah so this is why I don't watch the news" because in all honesty it a load of crap, there are far too many discrepancies in details to deem anything they say as reliable. The majority of the time it is all fabricated by the reporter and the company of which the station is run in. And my second thought as I watched a 10 minute long report on the apparent loss of who they described as a "league superstar" is why? not only why do they play favourites with someone who is good at sports in comparism to someone who serves in community service, but also why is he so remembered? The answer to the former is pretty obvious and it could lead me on a whole other rant on how our society is messed up. its plain materialism and commercialism again. Adorning someone because they look good or play a sport well, and apparently that's all you have to do today to be remembered and favoured upon society. The answer to the latter question is where my rant begins this evening and funnily enough relates to the first question. This man is remembered because of his sporting achievements nothing more than that. He is not described as a saint or a saviour or even as a solver our societies problems. But he is described as a League Superstar and it makes me seriously think about who Jesus was, what he did, what he taught and why he did it.

I'm sure some of you are now thinking "aw come on don't spoil some nice philosophy with that Christian crap" well fair enough stop reading if you want but Jesus has been to answer for millions of people in our world to which philosophers have never been able to answer. As we mourn the loss of such a great league player where is our mourning for the one man of whom this world is based on. Jesus. it is no coincidence that just as the 7 day creation we have 7 days in our week. It is not by chance that just as god gave us Ten Commandments he gave us ten fingers. It is by no means luck that just as God named Human male and female we still call them by that today. And is by no means sceptical to think that just as time in BC was counting down that Jesus was born as they discovered it was Before Christ, and we live in AD which is the result of his life. Every government and justice system today is based on biblical terms, it is based on the fair retribution of giving people what they deserved, as God will do for us. Of course Because of Jesus' death and ressurection the justice part of life is obscured and we need to take in grace and mercy, two godlike attribtutes that man could never comfortably fit in to our justice system. So it is evident that our world is very much based on Jesus himself. so my question is this; Where is his ten minute news report and how are we personally remembering him today? More so why should we remember him?

Our world truly is so lost in the adornments of our own selfish desires, we feed on knowing what celebrity cheated on who, what teenage superstar is pregnant. What super sports man has died, who made the record for fattest man and so many other self-serving gratitudes that are all the result of one of two things. That is Pride and Greed. I'll save you the massive rant on these things but I will say this, they are purely self-serving attributes to ourselves. So once our bodies pass on, once we ourselves leave this world, where is your money then? Where is your delicious food then? Why can you not take with you your flash car or stereo system. Because they have no worth. I am not trying to be too critical here, don't get me wrong everybody needs a little indulgence once in a while but I want this question to be causing you a headache as you finish reading. "What in my life right now will last?" and by that I mean from a biblical view, there is an old poem that I will finish this blog off with, but now I want to get back to the topic of Jesus.

Here is a man that literally flipped the world upside down, over and out within 3 years! And he chose 12 men to follow him who would, in their lifetimes, continue to completely change the world we live in today. These men and Jesus himself are the very reason we have churches today, they are the reason most countries have the freedom of expression, whether it be expression of belief or simply of opinion, you have that freedom thanks to these men. I myself in typing this acknowledge that I'm no saint and that I need to practice what I preach so to speak because my challenge to us all today, and I do mean "us", is what are we doing with our resources which will make us remembered? And for what reasons will we be remembered? Here we have a man who has died and is remembered for the sports he played. On the other hand we have a man, who is god in the flesh, a man who is remembered today for his love, his mercy, his compassion, his forgiveness, his willingness to serve, his miracles, his morals and more than anything his ultimate sacrifice of laying down his life for those who do not deserve it. The bible speaks simple truth when it talks of the fact that often a bad man will lay down his life for a good man, rarely will a good man die for a good man. And never (except for Jesus) will a good man die for a bad man. The bible talks of that as being love, that laying our lives down for our fellow brothers and sisters is what love truly is. The way in which we serve and love one another defines us as a person and marks what we will be remembered for. This poem here talks of what’s done for Christ, the bible talks of accomadating and serving strangers and that when we do that we are doing that to and for Jesus, he says "I was that stranger" so let us ask ourselves with boldness and a willingness to change
"What in my life will last?"

"Only one life, t'will soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last"

Christs - Mass

Now the moment I have been looking forward to, ripping what we call "a happy holiday" to shreds (well for the Christians reading it will be)

So Christmas which we recognise as a Christian holiday is still the one day that stops the earth still, as far as I'm aware the only people still on the job will be the cops, ambulances and fire fighters. which may as well be my first point, isn't it funny that even though the remembrance of Jesus can still stop the world that we still need humans to control our society, on the one day when its actually suppose to be about family and Jesus we still fail to 'be good'

Now as for Christ being the 'reason for the season', The origins of Christmas are described as follows on Wikipedia

"Christmas Day or Christmastide, is an annual holiday celebrated on December 25 that marks and honours the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. The birth of Jesus, which is the basis for the anno Domini system of dating, is thought to have occurred between 7 and 2 BC. December 25 is not thought to be Jesus' actual date of birth, and the date may have been chosen to correspond with the Roman Festival."

I'm sure the majority of us are aware of the falsehood of the 25th being Jesus actual date, I personally have found two dates given by leading scholars is August 14th and July 17th. Now the simple fact is that we will never TRULY know the date of his birth but I'm also sure very few of us knew that our Christ mass was ripped off from a pagan celebration. This Roman festival in December was called Saturnalia, this was the feast that celebrated the mythological God "Saturn" this was originally on the 17th and eventually expanded to a whole week lasting until the 23rd. One form of celebration was a school holiday and the making and giving of small presents. This resembles closely the sole focus of our Christmas celebration today. For Saturnalia The customary greeting for the occasion is a "Io, Saturnalia!" — Io (pronounced "yo") being a Latin interjection related to "ho" (as in "Ho, praise to Saturn"). now I'm sure you are all thinking of the correlation between Santa and his jolly "ho ho ho" being a direct symbol of the pagan worship and celebration that still exists today.

Now for this next paragraph I will probably recieve a bit of "you're such a conspiricist" because it does sound crazy and in all reality when I first had this revelation I was taken aback. But here goes, Santa is a direct anagram for someone that is commonly known in Christianity and in the Bible. If you didn't catch that its Satan. feel free to call me crazy, I simply couldn't care but let me give a reasonable explanation to this. Christmas has indeed become materialised, I see too many Christians get lost in this materialism and I can't help but shake my head in disgrace. People sometimes even expect gifts and if they are not given to them they feel disappointed and even disrespected. Today its all about what we can get. Its all purely Greed. in 2006 I went all out for Christmas and I did it not in hope of what I got in return but in the pure joy that I receive when I give without strings attached.
this year I have done cards and a small knick nack from Trade aid. which leads me to another small yet significant thing, think for a moment where you bought most of your presents this year, and then ask yourself this "what chance is there that that shop bought from china or India?" why would you ask that? because a significant number of Chinese manufacturers are in the business of slave labour. I'm sure I need not elaborate on that idea but my point is this, whilst you buy your gifts and give them and recieve them at the same time kids in slave labour are getting paid less that 1US dollar a day and usually and extra 20 cents if they sleep over night at the factory.

now I must move on to the point of Christmas trees, don't get me wrong I love pine trees and some of my fond memories are of the smell of pine on Christmas morning in the living room. However n ancient times the winter solstice was celebrated in Babylon as the birth day of Tammuz, the god of vegetation. According to the pagans, the god Nimrod would visit the evergreen tree and leave gifts upon it. This festival became known as the Saturnalia, and friends and family would exchange gifts. Jeremiah 10 verses 2-4 states

2 This is what the LORD says:
"Do not learn the ways of the nations
or be terrified by signs in the sky,
though the nations are terrified by them.

3 For the customs of the peoples are worthless;
they cut a tree out of the forest,
and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel.

4 They adorn it with silver and gold;
they fasten it with hammer and nails
so it will not totter.

so what can we take from this? the decoration of trees is tradition of Saturnalia which is a pagan festival and is detestable by God. ok so can we have Christmas without trees? of course you can, but what of the exchanging of gifts that is also part of that pagan celebration. Ok so no gifts either. so what's left? well a day off work and the word Christmas. so my simple obligation is this, why do we not celebrate it in this way? a day off and the focus on Christ mass. despite the rip off of Saturnalia's dates we SHOULD be able to focus on Christ. Another question I would have to pose is why oh why do we need a specified date to remember Jesus? the ideal would be for us to remember him everyday and I do pray that for us all. But I simply ask this of you this Christmas. Who are you doing it for? for yourself to get gifts? for others to serve and show them you care? or for Jesus?

so Who are you buying the gifts for? who are you decorating that tree for? who are you singing the carols to? what are you thinking when you recieve your gifts? think about it.

Seriously.

Submisiveness

Well it’s almost Christmas (you'll get a blog on that soon don't worry)

But as I wind down from my trip to Australia I begin to understand the simplicity of taking action upon what I have learnt.

I have begun another discussion with my friends online about God, which at one point involved a Jew a Muslim and an Atheist yet for some reason I was not overwhelmed or intimidated. I thought I would be but I had complete peace, my mind was still and uncluttered to argue one point at a time. I have learnt to use the bible more in my arguments which can only come across one way, that I have complete faith in the word of God and to some that would seem foolish but I can only pray that it will make them ask "why is he so confident in that silly book" their words not mine!

A family acquaintance came to our house just yesterday to catch up with us, She noted to me "wow man you're happy, you just seem at peace with yourself" and I could only agree and pray that she makes that connection to my faith. It made me aware of how much God has worked in me this year almost gone, it truly has been an amazing year, words cannot comply but God has left me awestricken uncountable times.

I have now decided on my plan of action for next year, after much prayer and thought to it I will be doing a course in Pathways College so its crackdown time now in terms of a new job and in time management this coming year. I cannot truly express in any words how much God has blessed me and made me aware of his working in my life, I literally sit here with nothing to write because I cannot put into mere words.

Who are we to try a describe the majestic lord who created the earth and heavens, names the stars one by one, placed them in their place.
Who am I that the same God that sees my sin, looks on me with love?
Who am I that the god of justice and wrath would have a plan and purpose for my life?
It saddens me to see Christians who are so complacent with their circumstances, ones who have no further passion for the God of love and wrath that we serve. It upsets me that they are constantly reminded of this and motivated by their peers yet do not act on a word of advice. Of course this is from the little I see of their lives. But oh lord do I pray for inspiration for them, I yearn to see their fire burn brighter and catch other people alight with the same joy.

Our lives truly are but a breath, God breathed life into us and can just as easily take it from us, we are in service of such a gracious God, may we all see his power and wrath for what it truly is understand what it is to fear God, a fear that means you want to love him with all your heart mind and soul.

Insignificance.

Well it has been a pretty full on week and a bit (9 days)

Arriving in Sydney to go down to Canberra a few days later for what I like to call SPRTE or what will be referred to by me as 'sprite.' This involved in depth bible study of the passage Romans 3:21-26 which my sum up is "its one of those passages that you think are self explanatory yet once one door of insight opens regarding it seems the door leads down and endless path of theological, philosophical densely packed information, with a cross breed of cross references." Swell as amazing talks (once again theologically packed and completely biblical based) then add a handful of a thousand or more brothers and sisters in Christ with which to meet and befriend, stir well. Leave you "wanting a break, not from physical tiresome but mental overload of information" and serve with hot Canberra sun, with a side of flies everywhere you go. This was closely followed by a mission trip to the central coast which meant involvement with the 'Lakes Evangelical Church' which with a heafty dessert course of serving leaves you set and ready to hit the sack.

That’s the short way of explaining it; my general more understandable version is that it was Theoretical followed by Practical in regards to serving and beginning ministry.

Now as for my title, I have had a few small 'God moments' throughout this 9-day period but one of the most vivid is precisely about our insignificance. There came a moment to where I mentally removed myself from the context I was in, the surroundings and specific details are irrelevant however I was very much still physically present. I felt as if I was somehow seeing everything around me from a third person perspective, now you're probably thinking, "well of course you were!" but I mean from a different standing point than the obvious. It came to me that all we do, the people we meet, the person we are becoming everyday, all that we live for and all that we think we know. Is insignificant. I would usually go on to explain that with God in your life however it is significant but you merely need to take a look at Ecclesiastes in the bible to argue otherwise. Now to most reading right now this will be very upsetting, maybe even (hopefully) a little bit daunting, because what this means is that all are efforts are for nothing and that is completely true. Even living a Christian life we (the thinkers of our generation) are constantly faced with "well even if I pray, every word is predestined by God, Even though I am called to 'go out into all the nations' it is still God that saves, even though we strive to be better person, God has already seen all our failings and all our success." This Revelation given to me was not one of a depressing state but more of a complete humbling of my soul, for amongst all these thoughts we can very much lose ourselves in despair and loss of motivation but for me it was finally the reverse, I felt more of a refreshing inspiration as God gently humbled to me just how Uncontainable he really is. This is reiterated to us in the DVD "Indescribable" from Louie Giglio which shows us a fleeting glimpse of how the small knowledge we have our infinitely puzzling universe we are but a spec of dust on the very fingertip of God himself, in fact to scale that spec would be our planet in fact we are so small in scale to the size of God that we truly are insignificant.

The amazing thing truly is that despite our complete worthlessness, despite how little we actually mean, despite our insignificance of which we could never truly understand God still wants to be with us, I feel absolutely privileged that a God so big would care to show me but a glimpse of his wonder by giving me a personal revelation from the him, the creator of all. One way in which I can begin to glimpse his power and wonder is that scientists guess that in our universe (of which we know no limits to yet) a new star is born every second, and in the bible it states that God knows each star by name, that alone alongside the beauty of creation, and alongside the personal relationship he establishes with each and every one of us makes me feel so incredibly humbled that it truly in indescribable, Words are but a spec of floating dust in the desert of what he is worthy of. I say it all the time and even these words that are carefully strung into a sentence do not come but a fraction close (in my understanding) in describing the absolute awe that God leaves me with every single time I try to understand who he is.

"A lifetime of worship and study into your character could barely give us a glimpse of your magnitude, of your limitless expanse and wonder"

That has been my prayer many a time, and I can only add to that prayer that it may be yours also.

"Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to the cross I cling"

We serve an incredible God.

May he soften your heart, and open your eyes and ears as he humbles your soul to his absolute sovereignty.