Purposeful Prayers

Prayer. its always been a difficult are for me, not only because I have to make an effort to actually do it but also because of the (what would seem to us) pointlessness of it. I often think, why bother God knows all our thoughts and choses our words before we even speak them.

but recently I have been getting too many answered prayers to ignore this matter any longer. its not that I don't understand the importance of it or the theology behind it its more to do with the fallibility of my own thought train and my infinite stupidity with comparism to his all-knowing intelligence.

some prayers that have been answered recently for me.
a friend of whom I was praying for, specifically praying that God would make her more interested in my faith so I would have an opportunity to share with her. text me asking 'what made you believe in god'
a person (extreme atheist) that I used to debate with online and prayed a few times that my words would plant seeds into his heart to see him living for Jesus. recently declared his faith for god
the car issues I seem to never escape from I prayed that god would deal with them, rather than me myself trying to fix the problems myself. a Christian brother text me about getting rid of the car for me and only because he saw my parachute bumper sticker and knew I was a fellow brother.

I have had a constant struggle with the idea of leaving god in control of my life, it is only human to want some degree of control in our life because otherwise we feel unsafe, its that degree of uncertainty that scares us. its the thought of what will go wrong that intimidates us, and yet when we think that we are saying to god that we don't trust him to look after us. we are saying that we know better than him and yet it seems every time we take these things into our hands things go wrong, whether it be the small mundane things that irritate us, or the big problems that leave us emotionally burned up again.

I want to share with you a blog thought of the friend online (and now fellow brother)

“Penetrating Perplexity For The Unrequited Dream

Our inner desires inoculated in an elaborate scheme
For the time being it's merely initial sanity evolving into a dream
I've found myself going off the deep end, building everything on a rigid frame
With no self-assurance, I am completely drained

Is it wise to sit around lost?
Is it foolish to redefine cost?

I've stared fearfully for far too long
I have been so weary for so long
and now it is time to penetrate that hazy fog
that fog that has kept me in check for so long”

it would seem that at this point this ex-atheist is drained by the arguments and probably inquiring as to why we are so persistent. It appears at this point that he is unsure of his previous beliefs and wants to ‘penetrate the hazy fog’ the hazy fog that is Christianity in all its complexities.

And now the second blog of his.

“A Seemingly Infinite Road To Bliss

Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around in his wheel. Not acknowledging the reality of everything, I'm trapped in this infinite facade of yet another false sense of security on this endless carousel. The characterless vessel of that insensitive, unimaginably uncaring, malevolent, sinister succubus has me paralyzed from the familiar fear of an inevitable, unbearable fall. Her nonsensicalness was obvious, palpable even, but my adolescent, wishful ways have me doomed to attempt to penetrate the obvious reality which imprisons us all.

I don't usually hit the ground running, but then again, it is seldom that I am exuberant with my movements. In random fits of rage I express great vigor, but in dangerous ways. I may sporadically find myself unconsciously putting on a smile as a facade covering up a long history, as well as a recent one, of dreaded memories that I look dispiritedly back upon, but the sad truth still remains. This equation is lacking a certain variable. The substance requires a solvent, or else it is worthless, meaningless. I've admitted defeat to an imaginary antagonizer, asking, begging for a place back home. "Home", being an establishment of a comfortable setting, but anything other than a place of origin. The past is incorrigible, and the future is that of total chaos unless something is done "now". "Now" is a gift, that is why it is called "the present". If I cannot break the barrier of my own disease then I will do anything I can to offer whatever I can to society. If I can't help myself, then that is just the way the cookie crumbles.”

I feel unworthy of ‘analysing’ this as it is his testimony and deserves to be unchanged and not tampered with. All I can say is that it is evident that he has now come to a certain realisation and has humbled himself to be willing to serve others (his last line)

I praise God for his testimony and pray that God continues to work in his life in conforming him to Christ

Already he is facing persecution from his ‘friends’ and I feel in my heart that he will be a great man of God.

Back to the prayer thing… it seems evident that out of the genuine motives God will answer your prayers, whether it takes him 40 years (the case of Abraham) or a mere week (my case this last week)

I believe we need to check our faith if we place any doubt in God, he is the God that created the heavens and the earth, placed every star in its place and calls it by name, knows us inside out and every hair on our head, moulded the mountains so his waters could flow into the depths of his shaped oceans which evaporate and freeze into millions of snowflakes that he designs and then fall again into our civilisation that we have very much tainted.

That goes for me just as much as it does for any reading. We need to place God in total control of our life and let go of our pride, our selfish ambitions, our sense of security that we falsely attain from being in control and I say falsely because we are never secure in our own strength. We never shall be.

What is your Parachute?

Well its been a fair period since I wrote, but I think due to my title you understand where I may go with today’s post. \\

Let me start with this, I recently went to a music festival called Parachute which is held every year at Mystery Creek in Hamilton New Zealand and I simple loved it, just like last year it was a great kick start for the new year and I left refreshed and motivated to get closer to God, not long after however I needed a new car, in the purchase of a car I was familiar with for a very decent price I felt great. However it is evident now that I began to lose my focus on God. Just last night I managed to crash this car, the same way as last time by taking my eyes off the road for 2 maybe even 1 second and then not braking whilst doing so. You do the math.

I’ll be frank and honest, it was a massive shock to my system and I felt like a complete failure, after the financial hole the last incident burnt in me I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again but in all of this I am trying to keep in mind Romans 8;28 in knowing that I love God and therefore all things that happen to me or around me work for good. It was hard and to be blunt I was doubting God that he would work this for good and in actuality its only been one day I do not know how he is going to work this whole situation for my good but I know this. God wants me to simplify my life, my life that is cluttered with so much media, so much materialisation, so much technology, so much money, so much anger all around me. Just so much added things that do nothing but kill time and this I believe is the initial reason for my second crash. I’m not going to lie I'm still very gutted and feel like a failure but I’m doing my utmost to leave it at God’s feet and ‘take on the yolk of Jesus, for his burden is light’ (can someone remind me what scripture that is? Its been in my head but no idea where to look for it in the NT)

During Parachute I began to get a glimpse of why it was named so, all the bands there, all the staff and crew that make this event happen all have one parachute that is their saving grace, that is Jesus. And as I offload on my notes on my Ipod I begin to think about what our parachutes are in life? I saw a sunrise for the first time in a long time while at parachute and it was stunning and after worship on Sunday night I could not help but think of the song ‘this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine’ because I came to a firmer realisation of my light that I carry. As well as the depth of darkness that some people live in and I began to think of how I need to let my own light shine into their darkness so that they can share my parachute that is Jesus and land safely.

I know what its like to not land safely, the crash and fall in life and emotionally it hurts probably as much as literally falling of a roof (not to mention that happened to me yesterday also, came far too close to breaking my neck) I can relate to people when they talk of how life is crap, how no matter how hard they try they always seem to end up sad and alone at the end of the day. I can understand the pain people feel when they feel like every relationship they get into they have their heart broken. I know the emptiness that comes along with drug abuse (including alcohol) the sad sad need for a temporary fix only to see your whole life falling, with no Parachute. I have had the parachute of alcohol, I have had the parachute of following the crowd, I have had the parachute of depression in hope of people loving me, I have had the parachute of relationships. They all had holes and didn’t break my fall at the end of the day.

My question to you today is what is your Parachute in life? I seem to be ending these things a lot recently with challenges and questions to the reader but hey change is good. So take this seriously, observe your own life personally and ask yourself, what parachutes have I tried? Which have failed? Which have worked? I can tell you with complete confidence the only reason I’m not dwelling in self pity and depression the very day after my second crash is because I have the parachute of Jesus.

I pray that God will continue to simplify my life and that he may give you the same parachute I now carry.


Grace and Peace be with you.