Knowing God

Where oh where to start?

Let it be known that my last post is just as true now as it was then, one or two things have been sorted yet I am still in the same pruning period of my life.

Ever since two months ago, when I prayed to God “:Lord I only want to serve you in this life, do what you will to make that possible” God has been continually and consistently answering that prayer through the process of stripping things away in my life. To give a bit of background as to where I am currently requires me to inform you that I will be continuing my study next year as it is a two year course and I was originally planning on taking a year break to begin to apply what I have already learnt, Due to circumstantial reasons I will doing that next year as well as continuing with my current job. I applied for a job but it was not in God’s will,

It has become evident to me that God is preparing me for what he wants to use me for, what that is I do not know and cannot say, if anything, I am sure of this, that my God knows what he is doing and in this process of preparation I am joyful and yet sorrowful. I too wander how that is possible but I can say that it is only possible with God. As someone told me tonight, it’s a matter of taking up our cross and, in essence, it comes back to the Cross. God wants to literally crucify things in out life that will hold us back from his purpose in our life. In doing that I rejoice that God would even care to involve himself in my life in such a real way, yet I mourn in the pain of these things that I have grown to depend on, the love, to cherish are slowly stripped away. In all of this I bow in reverence to a God that is able to do such things with abundant grace and unfailing love.

In amongst all of this I know that God is trying to disciple me through discipline. In a message spoken God spoke to me about the importance of praying, fasting and giving. The very three areas I would not like to be honest about right now, and yet unknowingly the very three areas that will excel me closer to God, so that I can begin to know who he is and begin to be intimate with him in my everyday life.

Its scary that the Devil has gotten to these three areas and managed to convince me that although they are important they’re not worth worrying about. And in true genius of the Devil himself he has managed to do both at the same time.

I was setting at the beach tonight, watching the waves. I began to weep at the thought of a God who has created our planet in all its fury, all its rage. A God who gives the sun its flames, who has set every star in it place and knows each by name. The same God who destroyed the walls of Jericho , the God who parted the Red Sea and guided the Israelites with his holy fire. This God is the same God who subdues the very waves that I was watching, the waves that look so graceful yet have the capacity to cause so much tragedy and grief as we saw earlier this year in Samoa. This God loves us and withholds his righteous judgement due to the everlasting grace we have received from the cross

I have begun the journey of knowing God, of being intimate with him. I give not a single care as to whether I have the right theology, the right opinion on some hot discussion of the church. I give no value to how much I know about God or my knowledge of the scriptures, but more than all of this.

I desire to know God.